Dear American Travelers,
As a fellow American, I must beseech you to stop making such asses of yourselves. Standing in the street spewing obscenities because you've been forced to ride a bicycle in The Netherlands not only makes you look like an idiot, it makes all Americans look bad by association. I realize that you're 40 pounds overweight and that taking up bike riding after years of inactivity is a challenge, but you chose to get your fat ass off the couch and venture to a place where bike riding is the norm. In fact, it is what they're known for--bikes, wooden shoes, and windmills. I just don't see how you could have missed this memo. How did you think you'd get from place to place here? I mean really. What I am trying to say is, when I can walk up to a crowd and instantaneously know that you're a stupid American, it's a problem. I have to work harder to convince people that we don't all suck. Also, can you please stop making McDonald's your first stop upon arriving in a foreign country? They actually have better fries at the Friture directly across the street.
Ok, thanks.
P.S. Being from New Hampshire does not make you cooler than anyone else. Nor does attending American University.
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This cracked me up.
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