I'll only complain about this once...

I've always wanted to be one of those travellers who catches the train and sees all of Europe in one pass and casually eats gelato each afternoon while spending their evenings drinking at terrace cafes, but I am not that person. I am not that person for one important reason...I can't afford to be that person. No, I would not even go so far as to consider myself a budget traveller. I dream of want one could actually buy with the insane amount of $50 a day (okay, honestly, I've never considered that budget...nor do I understand how Rachel Ray can pretend that is cheap). Still, the fact remains that I consider a 5 euro meal a luxury. If I am actually minding my budget, I have roughly 100 euro a month...3 euro a day. I have...nothing. And yes, I am quite aware that there are starving children in Africa who could do amazing things with my 3 euro. And, of course, these things need to be kept in perspective, but I feel that you must know this because it is central to my impression of living abroad. You see, being poor abroad is somewhat like being poor at home. Only without the bonuses of friends and family that want you to get out of the house from time to time. Instead, you have to severely limit your activities, which is also less enjoyable than it might be given the lack of tv programming to occupy those otherwise fruitless hours. Sure, there is walking around to be done. There are sights to be seen...but you can only idly look at things so much. When I received this scholarship, everyone was raving about what an amazing opportunity I was being given, and to be sure it is an amazing amount of money, and a chance at furthering my education and by extension my career...But my greatest fear was that it would be like my last trip to Europe. Interesting, new...impoverished. I worked feverishly to a-pay off all debt and b-save up money, but to no avail. When you receive a big scholarship, it is not evident up front that you will spend upwards of $6,000 in upfront costs before you ever leave home ( you know, for minor incidentals like planes tickets, residence permits, health insurance, etc.). They also don't make it completely clear exactly how long you will be in your new country before receiving any scholarship funding...3 weeks and counting so far. So try as you might to prepare, you may find yourself quickly depleting what little savings you had after the $6,000 you hemoraged at home. And let's be clear, the 3 euro a day estimate is my funding post-receipt of the scholarship funding...because as you may or may not be aware, the exchange rate is miserable....ablsolutely miserable. In short, what I'm trying to say is that being an impoverished traveller is not as fun as you probably think it is, and receiving a large scholarship is a lot more stressful than you might believe. This is, in fact, what I long suspected and feared...and it is true. I feel like I cannot be the first to have this experience, and it is a wonder that no one else mentions it. I suppose no one wants to come off as a petulant child, and I don't mean to...but I feel that you must know that stressing out about this issue is a MAJOR part of my experience here. Especially given the impossibility of employment in The Netherlands. But like I said, I'm only mentioning it once...because I don't want to be ungrateful and because I know no one really wants to read about how terrible it is living in Europe.