Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Kickstart my scholarly endeavors...

I imagined that life would unfold into an endless array of afternoons spent lazily lapping up sunshine, that being an adult was something like being a college student only with more meaningful work and stable income. And, really, that’s the dream, isn't it?

I read recently that ‘scholar’ is someone who studies and is good at learning new things, and I think that I was destined to be this type of scholar. Mind you, I’m not describing an academic who publishes esoteric books and articles about her area of expertise. I am talking about the student who reads such books and participates in seminar discussions about them.

And, why not? When I was inducted into Phi Beta Kappa (secret handshake and all), I committed to allowing the love of learning to guide my life. What greater commitment could I make than to soak up all new learning like a sponge? Unfortunately, I've seen exactly 0 job opportunities matching my desired attributes. From this, I can only conclude that the inalienable right of the pursuit of happiness is a red herring. Men (and by this I, of course, mean all humans – male, female, or otherwise) are really only permitted happiness in as much as their happiness is marketable and or beneficial to others.

Perhaps I will start a Kickstarter campaign. I need a financial benefactor (or several) who will underwrite ongoing educational pursuits including a generous living stipend. Contributors will receive selected books that I've personally annotated; but probably not the best books. I’ll want to hold on to those. Still, I’ll do the work of reading the boring book for them. It’s like cliff’s notes only with the added warm glow that comes from supporting a good cause (or a marginally decent cause). 

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