I imagined that life would unfold into an endless array of
afternoons spent lazily lapping up sunshine, that being an adult was something
like being a college student only with more meaningful work and stable income.
And, really, that’s the dream, isn't it?
I read recently that ‘scholar’ is someone who studies and is
good at learning new things, and I think that I was destined to be this type of
scholar. Mind you, I’m not describing an academic who publishes esoteric books
and articles about her area of expertise. I am talking about the student who
reads such books and participates in seminar discussions about them.
And, why not? When I was inducted into Phi Beta Kappa
(secret handshake and all), I committed to allowing the love of learning to guide
my life. What greater commitment could I make than to soak up all new learning
like a sponge? Unfortunately, I've seen exactly 0 job opportunities matching my
desired attributes. From this, I can only conclude that the inalienable right
of the pursuit of happiness is a red herring. Men (and by this I, of course,
mean all humans – male, female, or otherwise) are really only permitted happiness
in as much as their happiness is marketable and or beneficial to others.
Perhaps I will start a Kickstarter campaign. I need a
financial benefactor (or several) who will underwrite ongoing educational
pursuits including a generous living stipend. Contributors will receive
selected books that I've personally annotated; but probably not the best books.
I’ll want to hold on to those. Still, I’ll do the work of reading the boring
book for them. It’s like cliff’s notes only with the added warm glow that comes
from supporting a good cause (or a marginally decent cause).
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